MakeDamnSure
by Second2dead
Summary: Sora and Riku go to a party but forgot something. Roxas zipper gets stuck and Axel has to potty. Rated for langauge, use of alcohol and drugs. Leon gets kidnapped.Kairi might get revenge. You'll never see KH the same again because I'm so well rounded.
1. music in time

**Pandect**: Yo! Kingdom Hearts is so friggin' awesome. I played it through a couple of times and my sister cries every time she sees the end scene.

**Gojyo**: Yeah well that's 'cause she's a dork.

**Pandect**: Where the fuck did you come from!

**Gojyo**: Your smoked up head ya little psycho. It's a shame that you can't even think of your own imaginary characters you had to take from others.

**Pandect**: Screw you!

**Gojyo**: Everyday.

**Pandect**: Grrrr just do the friggin' disclaimer thingy!

**Gojyo**: Pandect doesn't own her Kingdom hearts nor the song by Jimmy eat world. Also you hot ladies please give me a call. Anyone has to look better than this beast (point's cigarette at Pandect causing her to get burned)

**Pandect**: Bastard! (hugs Gojyo and self-destructs taking him with her).

The music was vibrating throughout the house. It was embraced by the thirty-something bodies dancing all through the 2 floor house in twilight town. In the first floor there are two boys whispering in each others ears right in the area of where the sofa would have been.

"ARE YOU LISTINING?" people sang with the music "Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh"

The Sliver hared boy known as Riku whispered something in boy with sun kiss chest nut hair known as Sora. His spiked hair nodded in agreement as he giggled. Riku only smirk that classic smirk that makes all the fan girls melt.

Riku whispered in Sora's ear "Why didn't Kairi come with you?"

"She said she'd meet us at the party"they looked around absorbing the atmosphere. It was a very drunk one. Bodies were going in and out of beat.

In the middle of the room a girl with short raven hair was seen dragging a man with long brown hair by his right forearm.

"Dance with me!" Yuffie screamed. All Squall- I mean Leon did was glare at her. He could tell by how glaze over her eyes were that she was drunk. Yuffie attempted to dance with the very stiff Leon who had his arms folded. He wasn't really that angry to tell the truth. He was actually quite amused at Yuffie's spaztastic dancing. His amusement died when he saw Wakka and his blitzball team run up to Yuffie with their keg and drinking equipment.

"Whas da secret password?" Wakka yelled at Yuffie.

She scratched the back of her head, "um bandana?" Wakka's crew just shook their heads know.

"Time to drink up!" Tidus screamed.

"DRINK! DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!" The bodies screamed. Yuffie grinned wide and as she was about to grab the tube when Leon grabbed her wrist.

"Wha-

"You had enough to drink" Leon whispered in her ear, "I don't want you getting blood poisoning" Yuffie felt the heat rise to her face.

"How 'bout YOU drink" Tidus yelled putting his finger in Leon's chest. He quickly took it back when he remembered whose chest that belong to.

"DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!" The rest of the team cheered. Leon just glared at them.

"What are you chicken!" Wakka teased. With that Leon sneered and put the tube to his mouth sucking in all the alcohol goodness.

"DRINK! DRINK!" The team roared. Sora mouth was opening shocked at the sight of a chugging Leon. Riku was chuckling and slamming his hand on Sora's shoulder.

"OW ASSHOLE!" Sora yelled.

"Sorry" Riku said pulling himself together. Sora felt a pressure on his bladder.

"I'll be right back" He told Riku's ear "I'm going to the bathroom." Riku nodded and Sora went up the flight of steps every once in a while saying an "excuse me" or simply stepping over an unconscious one.

"Finally" He said as he opened the bathroom door. Sora blushed as he saw the back of a blonde haired boy.

"Oh sorry. I didn't know any one else was here" he turned to leave.

"Wait Sora! I need your help". He turned back around to see a very frustrated Roxas. It seems he shirt got stuck while he was zippering his pants.

"Will you stop gawking and help!" pleaded Roxas.

"Sorry"

"Close the door behind you" Sora closes the door and examined Roxas problem.

"You should be careful next time" Sora said. Roxas gave him the dirtiest look he could muster without trying to look cute. Sora sighed.

"Okay just wait till I pee. I'll help you then. Sora walked towards the toilet.

"You better wash your hands" Roxas growled.

"Whatever." After Sora peed they began to work.

Riku bobbed his head to the music. Not noticing the colorless girl that slid next to him. The only thing that had color was her midnight blue eyes.

"Hey" Naimine whispered in his ear.

"Hey" Riku slyly whispered back. He felt her hand wrap around his. He turned to look at her.

"Want to dance?" She mouthed at him. He nodded and they went to join the bodies in their rhythms. Riku accidentally bumped someone on the 'dance floor'.

"Sorry" Riku yelled.

Cloud was too busy to forgive as he was grinding with a blushing Aerith to the beat.

"Yo son I'm tellin' you we'd make mad paper if you let us use your garden" A giant talking dog said. No it wasn't Scooby.

"Yeah" Squawked a duck named Donald, "Don't be such a wanker"

"So was it gonna be fan?" Goofy said folding his arms.

"Don't I look like a weed freak to you?" Axel said point a finger at himself. Donald and Goofy looked at each other than nodded yes.

"Well I'm not" He huffed, "God! You guys are pot heads with a capital P." He stormed up the stairs toward the bathroom.

"Dude he like has a stick in his ass." Donald said scratching his arm.

"Fuck this lets be out dis bitch and smoke mo fiya" Goofy said walking out.

"Fuck yeah!" Donald said going with him.

"Come on" Axel said banging on the door. "I got to take a shit!"

"Hold on a freaking minute!" Sora yelled. He and Roxas tried many techniques to freeing Roxas' shirt and none seemed to be working. The lotion techno only resulted in a white mess all over Roxas bottom half of his shirt and Sora's top half.

"Don't rip it" Roxas said.

Sora kept yanking "I'm trying not to but it's real tight"

"Don't yank that it's attached!" Roxas screamed.

"You people better not be having sex in there!" Axel screamed.

"Shut up" Roxas cried blushing.

"Damn this is stuck" Sora mumbled as he bit the fabric of the shirt.

"I have to shit people with a capital S" Axel cried.

Roxas was blushing harder "what are you doing man!"

"What the hell does it look like!" Sora sneered.

"I'll burn this door down" Axel doing his bathroom dance.

A thought ran though Sora head. Kind of like the ones that stop and make you think if you left the stove on. Sora remembered telling Kairi about the party. But he forgot to tell her where it was! The moment this realization dawn on him Axel burn the down to the sight of a crouching Sora. Roxas with his hand on Sora's shoulder and both covered in a white substance.

"Oh Damn."

**Pandect:** How'd you like the first chapter?

**Gojyo**: Do I look like I care. I not even in this damn game!

**Pandect**: Shut up! (Throws pack of condoms) fetch!

**Gojyo**: Miinnnnnnnnnee (grabs condoms and catches the clap anyway) whieeeeee?

**Pandect**: That tells you kids safe sex is no sex. Now if you excuse me I've got death notes to sigh and a next chap to write. REVIEW OR YOU TOO SHALL HAVE THE CLAP!


	2. my fears

**Hakkai**: Okay, I have a couple of questions to ask you if you don't mind.

**Pandect: **Sure. I don't see why not.

**Hakkai:** (takes out a long list)

**Pandect**: (sweat drop)

**Hakkai**: If you and Gojyo died due to you blowing up how come you are still alive?

**Pandect:** Hehehe through the power of TV magic!

**Hakkai:** But people are reading this.

**Pandect:** …

**Hakkai**: You didn't explain "the clap".

**Pandect**: It's a sexual disease.

**Hakkai**: Why am I here?

**Pandect**: Because Gojyo has the clap.

**Hakkai**: How come he has it and you don't?

**Pandect:** Because I don't own any characters that belong to Kingdom Hearts and/or Square soft blah blah blah what the fuck ever. If I did it would be rated T and have lots of Yoai and Yuri.

**Hakkai**: But that doesn't make any sense.

**Pandect: **Would you just shut up! (Laser eyes burn list) lets just move on to the story.

Kairi sat in her living room. Polished nails were fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. She checked the clock: it was 10:55. 'They couldn't have forgotten about me.' She lightly blushed at her next thought, 'I thought Sora and I were getting close again.' The rest of her thought were interrupted by the ringing of her door bell.

"Coming Sora!" She chirped excitedly as he ran to the door. He face was lit with joy nut when she opened the door it was shattered and a look of disappointment appeared.

"Damn. I know it's only us but you could at least pretend to be happy". Selphie said. To her left was a busy Olette who was writing text messages on her Phone. They both walked in and sat on Kairi's couch.

Kairi put her hand to her head and groaned "I'm sorry Selph. I was waiting for Sora and Riku to put me up for the party." Selph replied with an 'oh.'

Olette looked up at Kairi, "Are you talking about that party in Rikku's house?"

"Uh yeah" Kairi said feeling a little anxious.

"Tidus didn't want to take me 'cause he said he's got a major project form school" Selphie mumbled.

"Hayner is at the party already. He said he saw Sora step on Cid's balls while he was sleeping." Olette said. Kairi felt her chest tighten. 'How could he forget about me? And I really wanted to have sex with him at the party.' Her thought were interrupted again by Selphie.

"Fuck Sora! His probably just afraid of girls. Just a closet fag." She huffed flicking dirt out from under her nails.

"Why are you guys here?' Kairi inquired.

"No idea" Olette said still texting.

Selphie added to Olette's explanation, "Because there's this hot guy who just finished buying a big bag of weed from Donald and Goofy and he wants to smoke with us at my house."

"Oh yeah" Olette grinned, "That's why I'm here."

Kairi giggled then arched her left eyebrow, "Do you even know his name?"

"Of course! It's Sam or Asam-something like that. He just moved here from Hollow Bastion. And! He's in a band! Very fuckable."

"Don't you have a man", Olette said to Selphie.

Selphie scoffed"Yeah but he's just afraid of me because I get my period."

Kairi was slowly succumbing to amusement and curiosity, "What's the name of his band."

Selphie pondered, "I think it's called 'the Darkness' of something like that." She switched back to hyper mode, "come on Kairi lets go don't you want to go with me pleeeease" She made a puppy face at Kairi who laughed.

"Fine" She said getting up and heading for the door.

"Yay!' Selphie said. She and Olette got up and the trio headed for Selphie's house.

"Come you guys lets walk faster" Selphie sounded worried.

"Wat's up Selph I know you can't be scared." Kairi giggled "The only creeps in this town are us."

Selphie shook her head. "No. It's not that it's-

Olette laughed, "She left the guy at her house."

"WHAT!" Kairi practically screamed.

"Well" Selphie scratch the back of her hand with the other, "he seemed nice."

"But still Selph", Kairi countered, "That doesn't mean you leave him at you house!"

Olette cried out, "but he has weeeeeed."

"Well" Kairi mulled it over, "I guess you're right."

When they got into the house Olette yelled, "Where's the weed!"

"It's over here." Kairi turned to see whose casual sounding voice was that.

"Ready to get blasted?" Kairi gasp when she saw who it was. He ran his tan hand through his white-sliver locks.

"I'm so ready to forget about the world" Olette sighed.

"Fire it up you bitch ass Sam" Selphie said running up to him and jumping up and down.

"His name's not Sam." Kairi said almost breathless. "It's Ansem."

With that intro Ansem grinned.

"Oh damn" Sora said.

From were Axel was standing it seemed as if Sora was speaking to Roxas' crotch area. Axel blushed ever so lightly but complements of red hair it could be seen by both Roxas and Sora, who blushes were a shade of red that could put Axel's hair to shame.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Axel screamed. His gloved hands to each side of his face in shock.

"No!' Roxas said shaking his head, "This isn't what it looks like!"

"His zipper stuck." Sora stated.

"Oh" Axel scratched the top of his head, "So you didn't get to third base yet"

"No! That's not it!' Roxas cried.

"What the hell's wrong with you!" Sora yelled. He stood up and flicked him off.

"Whatever" Axel waved him off, "Anyway would you mind leaving the bathroom. I got to take a shit."

"Ewe. Thanks for the info" Sora said walking out the bathroom past Axel.

"And it's _LEAVE_ a shit" Roxas corrected following Sora.

"Whatever hotness." Axel closed and locked the door so he could use the bathroom.

Sora and Roxas stood in front of the door. Sora was looking at it while Roxas was looking at his stuck Zipper.

"Fuck. What are we going to do?" Roxas said looking at his crotch.

"Wanna make out?" Sora suggested. Roxas looked at him like he just grown a beard.

Roxas shrugged, "Kay" He jumped on Sora and their pouty lips connected. Sora tongue caressed Roxas' bottom lip then it began it exploration of his mouth as he slid his hand to Roxas' waist.

Yuffie placed a comforting hand on Leon's back while the other held his hair as he was throwing up on Cid's garden. Yuffie drunkness wore off a little on account of Leon Drinking up the rest of the beer.

"There, There" She said in a semi-soothing tone, she giggled a bit.

"I never thought I'd see you like this. I guess a man will do anything to maintain their pride." Leon pushed her hands off him as he stood straight and walked to the bench. Yuffie followed.

"What's a matter?" Yuffie said taking a seat next to Leon.

Leon sighed "You ever wonder if this story makes any sense?"

Yuffie's face scrunched up, "What?"

"I'm mean isn't Aerith supposed to be dead a long time ago? And what is axel doing here. And Roxas he's supposed to be fused with Sora. Why all we altogether? Some of us are not even in the same final fantasy series. And"- Yuffie stared at Leon baffled. 'How does he know all this?' Suddenly as if out of nowhere a bunch of dancing people in black bodysuits with pure white gloves appear. Yuffie jump up fast. Since she was still a little tipsy this caused her to get a headache.

Yuffie clutched her head. "Who the hell are you" she groaned. They didn't they kept dancing. Some danced around her spinning. Watching them Yuffie felt nauseous and clutched her mouth and stomach. As fast as they came is how fast they disappeared. She stared at the cloudless sky.

"What a bunch of freaks eh Leon." She got no response.

"Leon" She turned and found she was only speaking to the night air. "Fuck!"

"Those were changelings" Yuffie turned around to see who said that. It was none other than Vincent Valentine.

"How long have you been there?" Yuffie said pacing her hands on her hips.

"Changelings don't like it when the characters know. They just like things discreet." Kaze-I mean Vincent said.

"You didn't answer my question" Yuffie said a smile on her face.

Vincent replied, "Long enough to see you cut a lock of Leon's hair and stuff it in your pants"

A blush painted itself across Yuffie's face "Right…let's go get Leon back."

Vincent nodded and they both walked (Yuffie semi-staggered) off into the night in search of a sexy bitch known as Leon.

**Hakkai:** You know your stories getting complicated.

**Pandect**: I know (tear) and I still got ideas running through my head.

**Gojyo**: As well as your stench.

**Pandect**: What the- Where the fuck did you come from.

**Gojyo:** Didn't I mention it before? You must have like ADD or something. And you call this crap funny?

**Hakkai**: (softly chuckles) I think it's ADHD

**Pandect:** For get you bitches (takes out a patriot gun from metal gear solid and destroys Hakkai and Gojyo.) Sorry if you find any of this offense but its harmless and my sick sense or no sense of Humor. It would be nice to know what others think. I might even take requests if their good and/or crazy enough. Also if their some errors sorry may computer doesn't like 'cause I slap its ass and called it a dirty whore.


	3. nothing is whole

**Pandect**: Well I think my story's going pretty nicely save for a few errors.

**Sanzo**: (has his ipod on and looks serious) …

**Pandect:** Sorry people if I get confusing the story sort of jumps form scene to scene. I'm trying to make it flow you know like poetry that jumps back and forth. I'll cut the scenes into sections from now on. Oh and I named the story after the song from Taking back Sunday 'cause I think its goes great and it's Fucking Fantastic.

**Sanzo**: …

**Pandect**: Hello! At least yell at me or something!

**Sanzo**: …

**Pandect:** Give me a sigh!

**Sanzo**: (flicks off Pandect)

**Pandect: **I'm trying to fucking communicate with you bitch!

**Sanzo**: (puts gun into Pandect's mouth) you were saying.

**Pandect **:( drool comes out the corner of her mouth)…

**Sanzo**: Goku! Do the damn disclaimer!

**Goku**: 'Kay Sanzo! Pandect-sama doesn't own not even her voice at the moment and do not sue because she ain't claiming not even child support. If you sue she will be forced to become a fugitive and destroy all who harmed her.

For the past years-well it seemed like years but it was only about an hour; familiar bodies were dancing together. Riku could see her eyes slowly turn from flirty to bedroom and a smirk spread on the side of his face. Her still had his hands on her hips and whispered in her ear in a way that seems as if his lips were caressing it.

"Let's go to my place" Riku whispered.

"No" Naimine replied, "Let's go to mine." She grabs his hand and led him through the river of dancing bodies.

"I'll drive us" Riku said when they finally got outside.

"But", Naimine questioned, "I thought no one in this town has a car"

"I got one" Riku pushed the bottom on his keys. His car (_it could be whatever type of car_ _you want it to be_) gave a chirp and unlocked.

"How did you afford that" Naimine said. Her eyes were wide as they admired the cars beauty.

"Apparently I have a ton of fan clubs with girls who just adore me. They gave me a bunch of money for sending them my used boxers". With that answer Naimine gave him a sorry-I-asked look. They got in the stylish car and drove to the mansion.

0o0o0

Selphie coughed lightly as she blew out smoke and passed it to Ansem who took a very Very VERY long and sensual drag (not puff cause that's uncool) and grabbed Olette's hand gently as he passed it to her while they sat on the love seat. She blushed lightly and took an experienced puff passing it back to Selphie.

"You sure you don't want none Kairi" Ansem said before blurting out "SUBMIT!"

"Um" She looked at the bunch of droned freaks, "No. I'm sure"

"Awe come on" Selphie wined, "You come up with the best revenge schemes when you're high"

Olette giggled as Ansem's hands were caressing her forearm he then blurting out "SUPREME DARKNESS!"

"Come Kairi don't be a mother hen" Olette said. She giggled again due the highness hitting her and Ansem whispering explicit things in her ear. Kairi's eyebrow twitched.

"Yeah" Selphie added, "Smoke with us" Selphie had her back on the floor and her legs on the sofa as she passed the blunt to Ansem who blurted "KINGDOM HEARTS FILL ME WITH THE POWER OF DARKNESS!" Ansem after taking a drag began to make out with Olette.

"I know now" Kairi said observing her friends and enemy, "Without a doubt, that you guys are FUCKED UP IN THE HEAD!" her breathing became a little faster as she screamed out the last part. Selphie stared at her as well as Olette and Ansem who paused from making out.

"What's a matter Kairi?" Selphie inquired.

"Yeah why are you acting this way?" Olette added.

"Don't be a cock blocker" Ansem unnecessarily added then blurted, "GOLEM! GOLEM!"

Kairi couldn't take this mess anymore, "You are supposed to be the enemy what are you doing here! And why are you messing with Olette! She's like 10 or 20 years younger than you!"

Selphie only scratched the side of her face at Kairi's answer. Olette just blushed and sat quietly after Ansem blurted out "SO. MUCH. LIGHT!" He spoke normally.

"Well I decided to take a break. Maleficent is just a dumb bitch. Every minion she sends out fails yet she keeps sending them out. Organization XIII is just a sausage fest save for Naimine who doesn't really belong there and that dyke Larxene. All of these things make being evil not so great and more. I mean what's really evil and what's good? Everyone is really only out for themselves. I don't want to be like those sniveling shit heads. At least not right now." Ansem sighed after his heart felt speech his orange eyes shimmered with dept, "I just want to know who I truly am. Is this Ansem I play really me or just a role in a game." The girls stare at him in shock. Kairi felt like a complete fool.

"I-uh-sorry… I didn't know you felt that way." Kairi spoke softly. Selphie nodded.

"Yeah, we'll be nicer this time." Olette said pulling her hand away from Ansem and looking into his orange orbs. Ansem looked around at the sympathetic faces.

"Fuck that!" he said. He turned to Olette, "I don't want you to feel sorry for me! I want you to have sex with me!" with that note he grabbed Olette and ran to Selphie's room. Kairi was too shocked to say anything. Selphie bolted up from her seat.

"Wait you can't have sex in my room you assholes" Selphie ran only to get her own door slammed in her face, "Bitch! Forget you! She walked back to the living room mumbling something about amateurs. Kairi was too shocked to say anything.

Selphie grabbed Kairi's hand and began to pull her out the house. This shook Kairi out of her daze.

"Where are we going?" She questioned as they headed outside.

Selphie look one last look at her window and yelled, "You damn white hair bimbo! I hope you catch something!" she the turn her attention to the red head, "revenge."

"On who? Ansem?"

"No, forget Ansem. I'll let my godmother dear with him when she gets home. Right now let's worry about getting back at Sora and Riku and all the other assholes that didn't invite us."

"I got invited" Kairi said defensively.

"Right" Selphie said shifty-eyed. They walked on to Tidus' house.

OoOoOoOoOo

When Axel finally got out of the bathroom (after washing his hands of course) he was shocked to see a crying Sora and Roxas who was trying to comfort him.

"Rox was the hell happened to him.  
"I dunno" Roxas said rubbing Sora's back, "I asked him if he wanted to get some beer and he started crying."

"What a wuss with a capital W" Axel said staring at Sora.

"Hey! I'm a part of him you know!" Roxas said bringing Sora closer to him. Axel felt a twinge of jealousy.

"No" Sora sniffed. "It's just. Sniff. "Riku."Sniff. "Said I couldn't drink"

"Why you listening to him?" Axel said his hand on his hips.

"Move it you little shits" A strained voice said as it walked up to the bathroom holding an ice pack to its crotch. Its once blonde now bald head did a double take as it said Sora.

Cid screamed as hard as some who got stomped on the nuts could, "You little bitch ass honkey! You betta get the hell out my house before I come whip your heart shaped ass!" Sora stood up whipping the tears from his eyes.

Roxas objected "You can't talk to your guess like that."

"The hell I can't" Cid push Axel as he entered the bathroom. A realization hit Axel as his got pushed.

"Hey how did you know Sora ass is shaped like a heart?"

He paused from closing the bathroom. His right thumb swiped across his nose as he grinned and said "It ain't called Kingdom Hearts for nothing."

"Sick." Roxas whispered.

"With a capital S" Sora added.

"That" Axel said sadly, "was my line"

"What the fuck!" Cid yelled. "It smells like shit in here"

"That's what bathrooms are for baldie" Axel said.

"You know what" Cid said spraying his air freshener, "Red, blonde, and spikes get the FUCK out of my goddamn house or so help me inari I will fuck up every piece of equipment you own!"

"Fine baldie this party blows any way." Axel said leaving followed by Sora and Roxas.

"Blow on this" Cid flicks them off and continued his merry way in the bathroom.

"Aw man what are we gonna do?" Roxas said.

"Let's go to Kairi's house" Sora suggested. "I forgot to bring her and she might still be there." He put both hand behind his head and walked in the direction.

"Smooth" Roxas said and began following Sora he paused when he found that no one was following him. "Axel, aren't you coming?"

"Why should I follow shit for brains?" Axel answered. Only to have his heart (or lack there of) almost get broken by Roxas' infamous pout.

"Aw come on Roxas" the name mention only glared harder. "Arg" He walked up to Roxas who smiled happily and they walked towards Kairi's. "You better fuck me soon" Axels whispered he arms crossed and a slight blush across his face.

Roxas blushed slightly and giggled, "I will don't worry" His hand grabbed Axel's and clasped on to it.

Axel blushed deeper and his eyebrow twitched, "you heard me?"

Roxas only giggled as they walked on to Kairi's

OoOoOoOoO

"So" Yuffie said trying to strike up a conversation, "you know were these changer thingies are?"

Vincent only stared at her for a moment before looking back out at the path, "Yes but I never really been there before."

"How'd you know that were they are then?" Yuffie said staring up at Vincent. He reached deep within his red robes on pulled out a weather book handing it to Yuffie. Yuffie looked at the book which read 'Final Fantasy: unlimited (uncut)'

"The address of the publishing companies is where they are. They tried to force Square enix into make a Final Fantasy uncut chibi attack. When they turned it down the changelings vowed to destroy all final fantasy characters who knew of any loop whole or their influence. " Vincent answered.

"But how" Yuffie questioned…again "do you know and how does this link to our world."

"Do you want them to take you too?" Vincent replied. He was quiet annoyed,

"No"

"Then shut up and let's move" They walked to a small cavern. Yuffie had many questions but decided to keep them to her self.

But then a train of naughty explicit bad thoughts about her and our angst hair Vincent came into her head and she blushed. She put her hands on each side of her face to hide it but she could feel it spreading.

"Are you okay?" Vincent had his eye brow raised.

"Of course!" Her voice was a bit husky, 'we just better make damn sure these freaks don't mess with our franchise!"

"Before we do anything", angst haired epitome of cuddly sexiness replied, "We have rest and gather allies."

"Sounds like a good plan to me!"

**Pandect:** So how does the third chappie sound my little fluffy monkey of love sex goodness?

**Goku:** Um…where's Sanzo.

**Pandect**: He's tied up on bed with no shirt on and his zipper down .

**Goku:** You're Sick!

**Pandect**: You can come to.

**Goku**: (blushes) what the hells wrong with you!

**Pandect**: ANYWAY while I and Goku join Sanzo _you_ should go and review. So review!


	4. my heart's a battle ground

**Stranger**: I've read your story and I got to say there are quite a few holes in it.

**Pandect:** Who in the bloody hell are you!

**Stranger:** Like how come if Axel burned the door down it magically pops back up later?

**Pandect**: …

**Stranger:** Where are you going with this story?

**Pandect**: (blinks rapidly) You didn't answer my question.

**Stranger:** You ever seen Kaliedo star from ADV films (product placement XD)?

Pandect: Uh yeah.

**Stranger:** You know that little guy that always gets beat up by Sora.

**Pandect**: (blinks) when it got so dark in here.

**Fool**: That's me.(silence) Do you want me to read you future as a reject writer?

**Pandect**: Where are Gojyo, Hakkai, Sanzo, and Goku?

**Fool**: They started an orgy with several others.

**Pandect**: And they didn't invite me! (Runs away with a camera)

**Fool**: The disclaimer from before applies to all. Although the first disclaimer sounded prettier than the last one.

**Pandect:** Wait! (runs back) I want to thank **innocuouspoison** for having so many vowels in their name and for being the first reviewer . (runs away)

**Fool**: excuse me; I have an orgy to orchestrate.

* * *

"You know what?" Kairi said throwing her hands in the air, "I give up. Selph I don't want revenge. I just want to party. So let's go to the party pleeeeeeeeese?" 

Selphie looked at Kairi as if she's the insane one, "Are you sure Kairi? Once we go to the party it'll be harder to get revenge."

"I don't care any more, Kairi groaned, "let's just go to the party."

"Oh fine" Selphie pouted. As they walked on to the party they saw a (car of your choice) drive slowly past them. They windows were tinted.

"Wow's that?" Selphie said bobbing her head as if it would make her see better.

"Oh, that's just Riku." As Kairi mention Riku thoughts flew into both women's minds

"Riku" They both said at the same time and turn around to watch the car continue to drive slowly.

"That bastard also forgot about Kairi said. She her chest with her left hand as if she was hurt.

"So" Selphie put her hands to her hips, "That's what he does with the money he gets for the fan club I created."

Kairi turned to look at her friend "What?"

"Oh-uh nothing hehehehe" Selphie said scratching the back of her head.

"Never mind lets just follow them" Kairi said walking in the car's direction.

"What?" Selphie was confused. "Why?" Reluctantly she began to follow Kairi.

"Because" Kairi flipped hair red hair, "Sora might be in there."

Selphie sniggered and smiled slyly "Oh….looking for a threesome with Sora and Riku?"

"NO! Shut up" Kairi was miserably failing to fight back a blush, "let just go"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

After Vincent checked them in they walked to the diner they settle down at a fairly large table.

"Are we expecting people?" Yuffie asked. She already started to dig into the appetizers.

"Yes" he asked. His raven black eyebrow was raised at her display of table manners. Even though he found it disgusting how she stuffed the food into her mouth he had to admitted (to himself) that she did look slightly arousing licking the crumbs sensually off her mouth.

Yuffie seemed indifferent to his staring as they ordered real food and she still stuffed her face with dried noodles (yum) "Whose coming?" Yuffie asked. Vincent only stared.

Yuffie blushed again as she thought bad no-nos. Then as they sat there a gorgeous, tall, girl-who-Cloud-was-too-stupid-to-bang sat next to them. That's right folks it's Tifa Lockhart!

"Wow! I didn't know you were in this club!" Yuffie was happy to see her old friend again.

Tifa smiled. "Yeah well since I couldn't be with Cloud I decided that I'd be a fan girl"

Vincent's eyebrow twitched, "this is not a fan club."

"Don't be so angst" Yuffie said.

"No it's an angst fan club" Tifa exclaimed.

"Let's just get this over with I got a dentist appointment tomorrow" Yuffie turn to see who could have said that and her jaw dropped at the sight of sliver. It is Sephiroth (insert fan girl squeal).

Yuffie jump up and seemingly pull out her ninja star out of her ass, "What the hell are you doing here!"

Tifa got up and put a hand on her shoulder, "It's all right Yuffie he's with us."

Yuffie was shock still staring at sexy Sephiroth who was smugly smirking, But-but…"

"He hates them as much as we do" Tifa said trying to comfort her.

"Where are the others?" Vincent said getting up.

Sephiroth explained "Donald and Goofy are high out their asses, King Mickey is renewing his working papers, Cid is trying to throw people out his dumbass party, Reno is washing his hair, and Rude is trying to grow some." As stupid as their excuses were the group deemed them reasonable.

"Let's go" Vincent said leaving.

"What?" Yuffie was pouting and upset "I thought we were going to eat something."

"You ate enough" Vincent said almost out the door.

"Humph!" Yuffie followed along with Tifa. No one seemed to notice Sephiroth stuffing appetizers down his pants (fan girl: can I have some!)

Then they walked back out in to the night to kick some changeling ass.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Kairi open the door!" Sora kept banging but he got no answer, "come on Kairi I said I was sorry"

"This is so dumb" Roxas had his hand to his face while it moved from left to right.

"Yeah" Axel said staring at Sora, "Where is Pandect going with this? Don't these chapters seem to go on and on about nothing and its all in one day?"

Roxas only replied with, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I" Axel replied, "Have no idea"

"Kairi open the door!" Sora screamed. He was no long banging on the door. No he was kicking.

"This is getting us no where" Roxas complained.

"Hey" Axel put his hand to his chin in thought "I got an idea"

"Well spit it out" Sora quit from kicking the door to listening.

"How's a bout I just" All the sudden in Axel's hand were the flame wheels (or whatever they're called) and through them to the house, "BURN THE FUCKING HOUSE DOWN!" he laughed viscously as the house burned in to the ground.

"What the fuck!" Sora cried then turned to Axel "You bastard" He summoned the oathkeeper.

"There was nobody in there dumbass" Axel said.

"How do you know?" Sora said on the verge of tears.

Axel began by folding his arms "Well I just got a text from Naimine saying she saw Kairi and Selphie walking towards the party"

"Oh, well…I'm leaving! And don't you follow!" Sora ran back in the direction of the party. Roxas didn't say anything because he was too entranced at the sight of flame.

"Also! Dumbass you could have used the key blade to open the door in the first place!" Axel screamed after his fading figure.

"You know he is so an" Axel was cut off by the crushing of Roxas mouth on his. He pushed his mouth deeper. Then they continued on…

* * *

**Pandect**: I was gone for a minute now I back with the jump-off…er I mean next chapter so review! It lets me know how my story is going. Thanks to all who have read my stories and chapters. Till next time bitches no if you'll excuse me I have to finish watching Devil hunter Yohko, which is getting good. 


	5. My lies

**Pandect:** Thanx **She Rocks** you rock! I'll update whenever I see the story stats rise like my pants.

**Gojyo**: I thought you said you were a girl --

**Pandect:** You're back (Hugs Gojyo) I missed you so much!

**Gojyo**: (pushes Pandect off) Yeah well I was just bored so I came here (lights cigarette)

**Pandect**: Wah! ;; Why are you so mean to me?

**Gojyo**: Well for a couple of reasons (blows smoke into Pandect's face).

**Pandect**: (coughs) I'm listening

**Gojyo**: Well why are we here when we are not even in fucking Kingdom hearts and you gave me a STD!

**Pandect**: You didn't review!

**Gojyo**: (flick Pandect off) Why are we, meaning the Saiyuki cast and Fool here?

**Pandect**: Well (nervous laughter) you see I don't think I'm able to actually make a Saiyuki fan fiction so I decided to squeeze you guys in

**Gojyo:** Say wha? --

**Pandect**: Even though people don't really like translations of mangas from Japanese to English I enjoyed the Saiyuki English because: A)I can read it and 2)Its all Irish making the Saiyuki setting more backwater-

**Gojyo**: You just went off topic

**Pandect**: This has been Pandect wasting your time before you even get to the story please enjoy. And please excuse my dumbass typos

**Gojyo**: You just wrote a page of crap.

**Pandect**: At least I don't have an STD.

**Gojyo**: Touché

* * *

Kairi and Selphie followed the car all the way up to the mansion and hid behind the trees. They saw Riku come out the car and another figure they couldn't quite make out no matter how hard they strained their eyes.

"Well that was stupid" Whispered Selphie.

Kairi whispered back "What is?"

"What have a car when you're gonna drive so fucking slowly?" Selphie forgot to whisper. Kairi giggled and Selphie smiled smugly.

"Let's do this.' Selphie said as she got up.

"Do what exactly" Kairi question.

Selphie sniggered "You'll see" Kairi followed Selphie till they went behind the car.

"Gimme your purse" Selphie ordered and Kairi obeyed.

"What are you gonna do Selph? Kairi watched as Selphie rummaged through her bag. She then took out a black sharpie.

"You'll see" She uncapped it and began writing obscenities on the car.

Kairi gasped, "what are you doing!" Selphie through one and Kairi caught it before it slipped through her fingers.

"I'm making damn sure these bastards don't remember the consequences of fucking with Selphie!" Selphie cackled maniacally as Kairi stared awkwardly at her.

"But I'm the one who feels used" Selphie blinked at Kairi's response.

"What ever" Selphie turned whiney again, "come on it's time you stop acting like a fucking Mary Sue and every preppy boy's wet dream" Kairi was shocked at Selphie's bluntness.

"Is that what people think of me?" Selphie nodded to Kairi question.

Kairi fell down anime style, "Well FUCK this!" She uncapped the flaming red marker and began to scribble on the car.

"Vat's da sprivit!" Selphie yelled.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Do you hear that?" Riku said between pants as he stopped making out with Naimine.

'It's okay" Naimine said taking off her shirt and panting as well, "It's probably just Marlexia."

"Marlexia!" Riku got up now completely turned off, "Where is that shithead."

"Relax he's just made cause I got him hooked for child support."

"Huh?" Riku had no idea about the bomb that was about to be laid on him.

Naimine sighed at Riku's bewilderment, "I got drunk at a party two years ago and he knocked me up. Then 6 months later when I told him I was pregnant he got mad saying it was his it made me so depressed. Good for my art but bad for my body." Riku watched as she paused taking a moment to reflect on her work. "Then I took him to a doctor and it proved little Kexi belongs to him. He only claims her for income so I got made and got him for child support which made him furious."

Riku eyebrow twitched. He wondered what it'd be like to sleep with Naimine but he could have never imagine her to be mother and with that bastard no less! Riku let out a sigh.

"Fine I'll just be going now" He got up to leave.

"Wait! Riku don't leave!" Naimine grabbed his arm. She sounded a bit desperate.

"You should be patching things up with that dumbass bastard instead of trying to sleep with me" He felt her hand grip even tighter.

"But Riku, I just wanted to have some fun! I never get to do anything"

"Where's the baby" Riku turned to look at her and saw that she was biting her bottom lip.

"She's with" She sighed as she let out her confession, "Demyx"

"That air head!" Riku pulled away from her.

"Don't leave" Naimine called but didn't pursue.

"Forget you! I don't know if your stupidity is contagious!" With that said he let. Naimine pouted as she looked around her room. From all the rumors she heard she thought Riku would be easy. All well she still had her best friend under her pillow. And he never denied her any pleasure.

When Riku got out side he found Kairi and Selphie tagging up his pride and joy.

"What the Fuck are you doing?"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Mean while else where a hung-over Leon came room from unconsciousness. He gritted his teeth as he woke to blazing bright light bulb stabbing light into his eye sockets.

"Been awhile has in it Leon?" Leon's eyes snapped open at the sound of the voice and they focused on the woman in front of him.

"Sorry I can't help" She flashed him a small sad smile, "I'm trapped here like you."

"Where have you been Riona?" Leon said. This time it was hard to hide the shock for someone he hasn't seen in almost two years.

"Not in Kingdom hearts!" She pouted, "They friggin let Selphie in why not me? What did I do to them! I got style! I got class! I have breast!' He watched as she grabbed her breast to make a point. He made a move to get up when he realized that he was tied down.

"Why are you doing this?" Leon kept his face as stoic as ever, "You could just have asked Normura-sensei."

Riona shook her head, "It's not me it's the organization I'm just using this job as a reference for my resume."

"Organization?" Leon lifted his eyebrow, "You mean organization XIII."

"No" She shook her head again, "I mean organization unlimited. They want to make a time paradox so they can have the story their way."

"Didn't they ever hear of Fan fiction?" Leon sounded annoyed.

"Yeah but they are way more eccentric than those guys." Riona said adjusting her emo looking uniform.

Leon scoffed, "nerds" (fan girls are crying or getting angry "I'm gonna write a letter!") Their conversation was cut short by 5 people dress in the same emo outfits taking away Riona.

"Buy Squall! See you at the Christmas party. And learn how to dance." She was taken a way by the changeling aka emo kids.

"It's Leon damn it!" Leon was secretly envious of the emo kids' uniforms.

"Hey emo freak! Where'd you get the uniform?" Leon says to one.

"My name is Ryan you metro sexual hippie" Ryan said

"Ryan, untie me so I can kick you self loathing ass you gothic wanna be." Leon said snarling. Ryan was so hurt by those words that he ran away crying.

"Stop crying you dumb bitch" Ryan cow worker yelled at him. This caused Ryan to spaz and run out the holding cell. "Run home you dumb bitch nobody loves you!" His other cow worker yelled out of the lone room in the cell.

"Now Leon" The female emo kid intro of him said, "I have a couple of question to ask if you don't mind." Oh he did mind. But what choice does he have?

"Ask away" Leon said staring directing in to the heavily massacred eyes.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Hey Sephiroth" Yuffie tried to take her mind off the fact that she was still hungry. Sephiroth looked at her.

"I prefer to keep it to myself" They kept waking on the seemingly endless path as they got agonizingly closer to the Changeling/ Emo tower of down.

"Aw come on! It can't be that bad!" Yuffie pouted. Sephiroth only snarled at her and his pale Jenova infected hands reached for his enormous sword.

"Sephiroth" Tifa warned. "If you want this mission to go on successfully then I suggest you relax your katana and ignore Yuffie's curiosity."

Yuffie pouted, "But I just wanted to know why he so tweaked on coming with us."

"Never mind that" Vincent said, "We have got a mission to accomplish."

"Right" Yuffie and Tifa said in unison.

* * *

**Goofy:** Yo I jus wanna give a shout out to my girl **Innocuouspoison **and her home girl for reading and I jus wanna tell 'em that I'm feelin them and Isho love thas wat it's all about.

**Sanzo**: What the fuck are you saying? This is so fucking corny.

**Goofy**: Yo fall back Blondie before you call me corny maybe you should stop wearing that dress fo I go straight G-status on yo ass.

**Sanzo**: (shoulders are shaking)

**Pandect**: (nervous laughter) cal-calm down Sanzo.

**Sanzo**: What the fuck are you supposed to be anyway?

**Pandect**: He is a dog (nervous laughter) I think from Alabama

**Goofy**: I'm jus showing luv for my riders down south 'cause the cops trying to see me riding durty but I ain't trying to have your Asian wanna be but really you just a cracka ass priest tryin to cuss me out.

**Pandect:** (slaps forehead)

**Sanzo:** You piece of shit mutt (point blank shots Goofy in the head.

**Pandect**: NOOO! You just killed one of Disney's MVPs!

**Sanzo**: Whatever it's not like I'm getting paid.

**Pandect**: (sighs) please review while I try to clean up this crime scene before the cops arrive. Also Thanks for taking your precious (or not so precious) time out to read this. No offense to emo kids or anyone.


	6. Melt away

**Pandect**: After some work I finally got Sanzo to take therapy (fan girls stare 'wtf?') Yay!

**Sanzo**: Whatever (Pandect flinches when Sanzo reaches into his robes. He takes out Marlboro and lights it). Why are you so jumpy?

**Pandect:** I thought you were going hit me with your fan or shoot me with your gun.

**Sanzo**: Am I that heavily stereotyped?

**Pandect:** Yep.

**Sanzo:** This is excessively retarded.

**Pandect:** Anyway I would like to thank **NaughtMemories **for reviewing. It lets me Know you guys care (tears up) I just can't believe I made it this far (radio plays "wind beneath my wings") You guys are just great seriously. You had me at 'update'.

**Sanzo**: (beats the crap out of the radio till it starts playing "B.Y.O.B").

**Pandect**: (glares) What the hell! You just ruined my dedication speech. And if you're gonna put a song put one that's relevant! (Kicks radio and it starts playing 'makedamnsure' buy Taking Back Sunday)

**Sanzo:** They're not laughing with you they're laughing at you. The only reason they want you to update is to see how someone of your idiotic level can become even more stupid.

**Pandect**: (blinks) I love you.

**Sanzo**: Baka.

* * *

The emo woman flipped her hair back.

"Now Leon why do you think you're here today?" The woman folded her arms and tried to look as intimidating as possible. But it didn't work on Leon.

"Well a couple" He stopped to glare. "I didn't put my tax return form on time, I pirate hentai movies, and I owe the IRS over $250,000.75" The woman looked at him as if he were blonde.

She quickly coughed away her bewilderment and went on questioning, "You have such lovely hair Mr. Leon, I hate to see it" She pull out a draw from under the table and took out long rusted scissors, "fall off" Leon's eyes grew wide as he saw the women wave the scissor in front of his face as a some one would tease a dog with a treat.

"You wouldn't" he whispered. His eyes followed the scissors closely. The other four emo kids in the background only laugh.

"Well it would release some of that angst you feel" She walked around the table to get closer to Leon. He then noticed her black name tag that had 'Heather Morris'( she is from resident evil 3)written in brown. She leaned down holding a strand of his hair in her hand.

"Why the fuck would you douche balls have name tags?" He said with his eye brow arched.

Heather let go of his hair and stood up. The other emos looked down and realized they too had name tags, "You know" the hand that held the scissors were resting on her chin thoughtfully while the other hand held her elbow, "I don't know" She then snapped out of it when one of the emos in the background whispered in her ear. She giggled. Leon let out a frustrated sigh and rolled his eyes. She then put the scissors back in the draw.

"What now?" Leon growled.

Heather giggled but then cleared her throat "We have one more question to ask of you before we erase you memory and use you for a sex slave" (fan girls squeal 'I call first dibs!')

Leon sighed and rolled his eyes…again

"What is your relationship with Cloud?" Heather asked staring directly into his eyes.

"What the Fuck!" Leon blurted. He was shocked by her ridiculous question (fan girls murmur 'I don't think its stupid').

Heather crossed her arms and her foot began to tap on the floor "Well I'm waiting" Leon gave to answer. "Well if you're not going to speak I guess I just have to cut it all off" She began to grab the scissors. Now. Leon was getting uncomfortable.

"Wait" he cried and she put the scissors down and smirked, "We're just…friends" He felt uncomfortable even say the word friend. It made him shiver.

Heather was feeling rather satisfied "Hmpf, don't make this any more difficult than it already is" As soon as she finished her sentence 4 people busted into the room looking rather enthusiastic about spilling blood.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"What the fuck are you doing?"

With that Kairi instantly dropped the sharpie she held in her hands (Sharpie :sparklesparkle, for the vandalizer in you :winkwink:) .

"Well" Selphie scratched the back of her head and started laughing nervously, "We kinda sorta…just a little" Then Selphie got an idea. She got a wonderful awful idea.

"Fuck men. I don't need no man" Selphie shrieked and grabbed Kari by the waist.

Both Kairi and Riku looked at Selphie as if she was crazy.

"Just play along" Selphie whispered in Kairi's ear. Then she licked it causing Kairi to blush.

"What are you guys doing?" Riku was amused, confused, and slightly turn on by the whole situation.

"Kairi and I are sick and tired of Men!" Selphie emphasized this by tightening her hold on Kairi. "We are liberators of…" Selphie searched for the word, "women!"

Riku arched his eyebrow and turned to Kairi to verify this new found revelation. Kairi took a couple of second but realized she had to play the role.

She shook her head up and down "Yeah I'm so her bitch" Kairi blushed. She felt stupid just for saying that. There was a long awkward silence after.

Selphie tried to lighten the mood, "Let's get some ice cream (or in Hiei's fan girl world 'sweet snow')"

"Selph" Kairi said still kind of ashamed. She could still feel Riku's skeptic gaze on her.

Kairi slithered away from Selphie's hold, "It's past midnight."

Selphie looked disappointed, "Right"

Riku added in "We can still go. It's a 24 hour one"

Selphie was slightly amused "WE? Like you wanna go with us lesbian vandalizers?"

"Why not go since you're such a commanding fucktard you probably whipped Kairi into becoming docile enough for you to claim." Riku was rather smug with his theory. Kairi only blushed (fan girls 'boo Kairi you suck! You Marry Poppins reject! Suck my clit!)

Selphie laughed, "Let's go then."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Cid walked through his house angrily. These kids…oh wait a minute (clears throat) these fucking kids are up to no fucking good smoking and cursing and drinking in his fucking house. And Damn it there not even sharing. When he got home to this mess the first thing he did was beat the shit out of his daughter.

"Damn Rikku what the fuck! I told you to stop having these stupid parties" Cid was beating Rikku up side with a wrench. "I come out of work to this and damn I'm gonna blow up this hell whole."

"Cid" His wife Miles tried to snatch his wrench away (don't know who Miles from FF: unlimited is? When then fucking Google it or watch the anime). He husband was never this aggressive when they were younger.

Cid was angry why could these fucktards let him be at peace? "Let go of me dammnit Miles can't you see I'm trying to teach this little cunt a lesson?"

Miles slap him upside his head, "What the hells wrong with you! You can't speak to our daughter that way!" She pried Cid off Rikku and she immediately latched on to her mother.

"Mom! Help me! Dad's gone mental." Miles patted her lovingly. Now, now it's not nice to talk about your father that way."

"No let he be Miles" Cid grinned and wiped his nose, "She gonna be just like me one day" Rikku's eyes widened with fear.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She ran outside to Selphie's house to complain only to find Ansem fucking Olette. She then decided she would make it a threesome.

"Everyone! out my damn house!" Cid yelled but no one would listen. Bodies were to busy gyrating to their rock and rock hippies status low riding hip hugging orgy having you won't understand what I'm saying Cause I'm too well rounded kind of parties. Cid's eye twitched. He. Just. Couldn't. Handle. The. Little. Shits. Cloud was the only one who saw the rage in Cid's eyes. He grabbed Aerith by her hand.

"Come on" He whispered in her ear. "Cid's going to loose it" They hands and left the party to the night.

Cid just put out his spear and began to randomly stab people. The ones who saw or witnesses it ran like hell. The others just thought he was doing a new dance.

"Yeaaaaaaaaaah! Woohooo go Cid!" Tidus screamed.

"Fuck you!" Cid screamed and he beat Tidus into unconsciousness.

Barret shook his head as he witness "Aren't you going to help them Miles?" He took a sip of his cranberry juice. Unfortunately it had no alcohol because those kids like to foil everything drank it all.

"Nope" Miles sipped on her ice tea, "Those aren't my kids. Why don't you help him, he's your friend."

"Those aren't my kids either." They both sighed and continued on to another topic.

Cid stopped beating on Tidus when he felt some one tap his shoulder. He turned around to see a talking dog…no, not Scooby.

"Yo fan you need to chillax n' drink a little." Goofy said trying to comfort the insane man.

"Yeah mate" Donald added, "You look like you been smoking monkey pole or something like that"

"You damn stoners! Can't you see what they did to my damn house! They destroyed the china tea set Mickey gave me. They ate all my food even my fucking wife's edible panties!" He threw his hand up in rage growling. But before he could continue to beat Tidus D and G (awe the like complementary nucleotides T and A! fan girls 'wtf?') stopped him.

"Homie fall back fo' a minute. You don't need all the aggression." Goofy sighed, "It's too bad I don't have any mo Dro fo' you to smoke you need too realize that constipation you got building up inside." Cid sighed. As much as he hated these fucktards (seems like he hates everyone?) he cherished there greed A grass.

"I got it" Donald said slamming his fist into his hand.

"What" Cid and Goofy said in unison.

"LCD" Donald squawked happily, "My special blend" All three smiled but no one notice how mischievous Donald's smile was.

"Let's go to my room to smoke and shit Cid said. All three walk to have their own adventure decorated with blue and yellow purple hills.

* * *

**Pandect:** Ha! Another day another chap!

**Goku**: Took you long enough.

**Pandect:** Hey I had to think thoughts and what not!

**Goku**: Well I'm starving so hurry up with your notes!

**Pandect**: ANYWAY (glares at Goku) I notice that most of my major errors come a climatic scene (nervous laughter) Well you see that's because I'm too busy chuckling at my own damn thoughts and thoughts are slower then my actions so they all jumble up. (bows very low) Sorry! And please review you thoughts intrigue and amuses me. I love you. Yes. I love you and only you. All two of you who have read this.

**Goku**: Hurry up you suck!

**Pandect**: (glares daggers) Shuddup! 95 of the people who have read this think you're from Dragon Ball Z!

**Goku**: (cries) You're so mean.

**Pandect**: (pouts) Whatever.


	7. angels in flight aka the violent chapter

**Pandect**: Okay to answer a few questions mainly **KHkid1312020** Goku (Pandect points to Goku) is from an Anime/Manga called 'Gensomaden Saiyuki' (or Saiyuki reload and Saiyuki). Saiyuki and Dragon Ball Z are based off the same Chinese myth. You want to know some more info? Well then fucking Google it you lazy asses! You're already on the internet and it probably won't kill you. Remember to go back and read my story though (smiles).

**Goku**: Yeah I'm a little bit angry that basically no body knew who I was.

**Pandect:** Yes (sigh) it's the curse that I live with for being so well rounded.

**Goku:** I wonder who those people thought Sanzo, Hakkai, and Gojyo were (Pandect pats him on the head).

**Pandect**: This story goes out to all those that know what the hell I'm talking about. Thismy second to last chapter so Give 'em hell kid! (Starts firing shots in the air.)

* * *

The emo people were so shocked to see Vincent, Tifa, Yuffie, and Sephiroth's psychotic ass but they were still prepared to fight. Each wiped out their out blades which they used to slit their wrist and began throwing them at Vic and co.

"Hey what the hell's wrong with you people!" Yuffie screamed as she dodged the blades throwing her star in the process (fan boys "omg Yuffie's so hot but not as sexy as Aerith" "Yeah I can't believe they killed her").

Sephiroth said nothing as with one single sexy slash of his sword he killed all five of the emo children in a beautiful bloody massacre. It was only after that Yuffie's star hit the remains.

Vincent was a little disappointed that he didn't get a chance to shoot anyone.

Tifa punched Heather who instantly fell on the floor. He head was spinning. Tifa undid the ropes on Leon.

Vincent aimed his gun at the women's head, "Where are the documents?"

"They're at the second tower" Heather shook her head to keep the room from spinning.

"Women if your head hurts' Sephiroth aimed his bloody sword at Heather "I can fix that for you"

Tifa had enough "That's enough she just has to take us to the documents."

Sephiroth sneered as he pulled away his sword.

"It's in the basement of this castle." Heather panted, "But there are many guards around"

"I took care of that" Sephiroth smirked.

Leon looked at Sephiroth with disgust but then turned back to Heather, "Where's my gunblade?"

"It's with the documents" Heather went to get up to find her body split in half (fan people "Yay! Sephiroth is so badass!" "When did this story get so violent?").

"Sephiroth you bastard!" Leon snarled as he went to punch him only to be held back Tifa and Yuffie.

"It's no use" Yuffie said.

"Yeah let's just get our stuff back." Tifa said. Leon shook them off and they traveled on to the basement…

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Riku, Kairi, and Selphie were at the ice cream shop eating ALL 48 FLAVORS! Lick on that Baskin and Robbins!

"Were gonna get so sick" Kairi said scooping up some cotton candy.

"I thought you guys were used to licking things" Kairi blushed, which only made Riku laugh at what he said.

"Riku stop being a pervert!" Selphie said.

"Oh I see you're already started to defend you're woman." His comment was answered with a spoonful of Kairi's ice cream.

He only blinked as the sea salt ice cream slide off his face. Then they all began to laugh.

"Hey does anybody know where Sora went?" Riku asked amongst the laughter.

"Hmm" Selphie thought for a minute, "Oh! He went to look for Kairi but then Axel burn down her house."

"What!" Kairi said jumping up. She was waving her hands around sending bits of her ice cream everywhere.

"Hey!' Selphie exclaimed whipping bit of ice-cream off of her.

"My house! What the freak!" Kairi started to cry.

"Aw don't worry about it." Selphie said, "You could live with my Asian ass"

"Yeah" Riku said "You guys go out together after all"

Kairi blushed "right".

"You better go look for your man" Selphie said to Riku.

"What!" Now it was Riku's turn to blush.

"Don't lie to yourself" Selphie said. "We've seen the way you look at him." Riku was at a loss for words.

"And I'm sure he's feeling awfully lonely" Selphie teased. Riku sighed and then got up.

"Bye" Selphie waved, "Go get your man!" Riku flipped her off and went to search for his prince.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Sora walked down the streets with his hands in his pockets. He couldn't help but feel lonely. He went back to the party only to find that it was already over and Cid was acting strange. He was running around flapping his arms screaming "I'm free" and Goofy was there saying "Fuck the free world!"

"What the crack is wrong with you people" Sora said chuckling.

"I can't believe 36mafia is breaking up! "Goofy started crying, "Ima become a rappa 'n name myself Crusty crack.(people read "hahaha whatever insert sarcastic remark here)."

"What the bloody fuck!" Donald screamed, "That's stupid you fucktard. Your parents must have been siblings because you're so fucking stupid. You should name yourself dillhole!"

Donald was pushing Goofy's buttons, "Listen here you fuckin saucy bitch you don't wanna get clap now do ya."

"What the hell does that mean you bloody wanker!" Donald said waving his fist in Goofy face.

"It means what I says it means you stupid little bitch"

Sora ran away before the scene a got any uglier. He chuckled at the memory. With his hand in his pockets he continued to walk down the path. He let out a deep sigh as he stared at the beautiful night. This day seemed like the longest day he ever had. Damnit! He just remembered he had missed the new episode of Naruto where Sasuke finally admits his feelings for Naruto and they engage in gay sex!

He had been hit with a feeling of nostalgic when he got and idea. He decided he wanted to go to the spot where he Kairi and Riku used to hang; the tree that bears the star fruit of destiny.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Hahahahahaha!" The Earl cackled.

"What the hell" Leon said when they went tot the basement they weren't expecting this. A small child named "The Earl" with tons of scripts behind his along with Leon's gun blade.

"You think you can defeat me then you are foolishly mistaken you Abercrombie and Finch rejects!" With that the Earl transformed in two a gigantic ass dragon with a big mother fucking gun for a nose.

Yuffie was in utter disbelief, "Damn that's a big bitch!" The bitch was the Earl AkA Omega (final fantasy: unlimited it's an anime…watch it...its very good).

"We have to get out of this tower" Vincent said as he starts to stride towards the exit. Everyone followed suit. Omega stretched his wing and let out a bloodcurdling screech.

It was like "fjdhd4redlightgreenlight123jbjsbuqghyaieiftumyassisfataaaaakllokohoyo" Yeah that was the sound it made. As soon as they got out they building began to crumble.

"Shit" Tifa exclaimed. The Building tumbled and a very angry Omega busted out from underneath screeching.

Everyone managed to dodge the debris successfully. Sephiroth grinned as he pulled out his sword (kantana…whatever) it had been a while since he gotten some action. Every alternated in hitting Omega when suddenly a black Miasma pored out of the beast.

"HAHAHAHA! DIE SCUM!" Omega screamed as everyone one gradually fell to their knees.

"Urg" Tifa cursed "It's like its sucking all are energy"

"This…isn't…over" Leon said as his slammed his gun blade into the earth and tried to pull himself up.

"Leon!" Yuffie cried. She still tried to pull herself up as well but had a little more difficulty.

"If I die it sure as hell won't be from this reject" Leon said as he finally managed to get up and stand straight which quickly turn to a fighting stance.

"Your damn right" Yuffie said managing to get up as well.

"…" Vincent got up and dusted off his red coat (cape…or whatever).

Sephiroth smirked as he watched the whole little scene unfold as he was already standing but just couldn't move. They all got back in the spirit to quick some reject Aeon's ass (whats an aeon you say well then you should learn more about final fantasy before you read any fanfic which envoles Square soft)

* * *

Pandect: Sorry It took so long to put this up…not that half of you care I wanted to put this as the last chapter but I Jus think it's better if I put it into to parts. If you want more Saiyuki Randomness then review cause I was thinking of a story which evolves such antics…anyway just wanting to put this up to let you guys know I'm not dead…yet

REVIEW!


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